Article
submitted
in
the
Oxford
Times
Supplement
Magazine
March
2006
By
Abi
Strevens
MA,
SRAsT(M),
D.
Hyp
BSCH
"The
greatest
danger
for
most
of
us
is
not
that
our
aim
is
too
high
and
we
miss
it,
but
that
it
is
too
low
and
we
reach
it"
MICHELANGELO
Neuro-psychologists
have
discovered
that
because
our
brain
expects
something
to
happen
in a
certain
way,
we
often
achieve
exactly
what
we
anticipate
-we
get
what
we
expect!
This
is
called
expectancy
theory.
Psychologists
also
say
that
90%
of
our
behaviour
is
habitual.
So,
in
order
to
move
positively
forwards
in
our
lives
and
achieve
the
things
we
want,
adapting
our
thoughts
and
behaviour,
even
in
small
ways,
can
make
huge
positive
changes.
How
we
feel
and
think
about
ourselves,
and
others,
is
based
on
our
thoughts,
values
and
beliefs.
Strange
though
it
may
sound,
you
alone
are
responsible
and
in
control
of
your
thoughts
and
the
subsequent
feelings
that
these
generate.
Therefore
our
thoughts
create
our
reality.
This
can
be
good,
positive
and
empowering
or
it
can
be
negative,
limiting
and
frightening.
For
many
people
a
lack
of
confidence
can
cause
difficulties
in
some
or
all
areas
of
their
lives;
professional,
social
and
personal.
It
can
even
affect
our
auto-immune
and
central
nervous
system
causing
various
health
problems
Lack
of
confidence
can
be
caused
by
many
things,
such
as;
the
fear
of
not
being
good
enough,
negative
internalised
beliefs
and
comparison
to
others,
a
past
negative
situation,
event
or
experience
and
fear
of
the
future.
A
lack
of
confidence
is
fear
based
and
can
often
lead
to
anxiety,
depression
and
sometimes
the
development
of
phobias.
Whatever
the
cause
and
origin,
we
feel
a
lack
in
confidence
through
a
combination
of:
negative
self
talk
repeatedly
putting
ourselves
down
in
our
thoughts,
with
negative
and
limiting
beliefs.
negative
rehearsal
-
repeatedly
imagining
the
very
worst
that
can
happen
in a
situation,
event,
response
negative
over-generalisation
believing
that
because
you
have
had
one
unfortunate
experience
that
you
will
always
have
a
bad
experience
in
similar
circumstances
negative
over
dramatisation
of
the
reality
of a
situation,
response
or
reaction.
negative
framing
looking
at
situations
in
life
as
the
glass
being
half
empty
rather
than
half
full
negative
filtering
removing
all
the
positive
and
only
seeing
and
hearing
the
negative
The
good
news
is
that
the
un-conscious
mind
believes
what
the
conscious
mind
tells
it,
and
the
brain
is
designed
to
solve
any
problem
and
reach
any
goal
that
you
give
it.
Just
as
we
can
programme
ourselves
to
feel,
amongst
many
other
things,
a
lack
in
confidence,
we
can
programme
ourselves
to
feel
good,
motivated
and
confident
in
our
abilities.
Tips
on
Improving
Self-Confidence
Develop
positive;
self-
talk,
thinking
patterns,
problem
solving
strategies,
affirmations
and
visualisations
of
the
future